TMNT 1-3 Movie Review

Alright, I’m in quite a Bad Mood at the moment, so let’s get this overdue thing over with.

A couple of weeks ago, I was sent three Movies: Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: Secret of  The Ooze, and Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time. It took me a while to get to really watching them, and a while more to start writing this review, so here I am, at the package release. To note, these are old Movies which have been released before, so I have absolutely NO idea WHY the people who made them want  me to review them as a Package.

Wow, 108 words before even starting the real Review? I’m rambling. Let’s just get to the Movies.

Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: The Movie. Actually an okay Movie, discounting the obviously old Special Effects. Some of the Jokes were actually funny, despite TMNT’s current legacy. You can see the good old days of the Turtles showing themselves in this film, and according to the Wikipedia article this movie was made in the peak of TMNT’s popularity, and it possibly even helped it up. As it was a good movie, I’ll let the slightly odd Backstory and strange General Idea of the Turtles pass by with this movie.

Pizza Sub-Total: 3

Out of 10: 7.9

Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: Secret of The Ooze. While this rides rather awkwardly on the last movie as a slightly disjointed sequel, it manages to pull off being a good movie anyway. It introduced 2 villains, Tokka and Rahzar, (Yes, I looked those up. I would have spelt them (by the way the Turtles said them) Toecut and Rayzar, respectively, but anyway…) as well as (somehow) bringing back the Shredder, (which, by the way, confuses me a lot. I mean, to survive what they did to him in the last movie, he’d have to be quite a lot harder than nails.) who got sweet new Buzzsaw-like helmet, since we actually SAW (BWAHAthat wasn’t funny at all, was it?) his old one getting crushed at the end of the last movie. I mean, he was in the same place as his Helmet when it was crushed. (Man. Shredder is tough. His METAL HELMET didn’t survive, yet HE did. Just… Wow.) What a medical Marvel. What is he, Wolverine? (You’ve got to admit that one was a LITTLE funny. (OKAY, FINE, it wasn’t!)) Adamantium in his bones… Actually, now I think of it, he has claws on his gauntlets, doesn’t he? Wierd… (SHUTUPSPELLCHECKSHUTUPSHUTUP (THAT, you MUST admit, was a little funny. In case you don’t get it, look here.))

Pizza Sub-Total: 4

Out of 10: 7

Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: Turtles In Time. Alright,  this time, (That one wasn’t even on purpose.) you get no excuse. This is NOT a good movie. Nope. Your jokes aren’t funny any more, your storyline is messed up, your idea of Time Travel is completely wrong, and you dealt away with two of the best characters. NO. NO, NO, NO. I don’t CARE what the last movie OR the one before it was like, this movie is NOT GOOD. NO. Even Splinter’s One-liner at the end of this movie was NOT funny (No, Splinter, You DIDN’T make a funny.) and there was little to NO (I’m not doing it on purpose! I swear!) constistency between Ideas in the film, and I dare not say more.

Pizza Sub-Total: 0

Out of 10: NO. (3.4.)

So, to wrap it up, the Pizza Total is:

7

And, out of 10, the rating of the package is:

6.1

(It was gonna be out of 30, but it was 18.3, which could be simplified.)

If you’ve got a fan of the Turtles in your house, you probably have a pretty good present on your hands here. And, if you like the Turtles yourself, you might wanna add this to your Christmas list.

So, to finish off the review…

[I’m not gonna say it. No. I am NOT saying Cowabunga.]

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